i permit you to call me
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
