"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
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