last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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