Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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