So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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