piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
