Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
