awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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