his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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