i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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