He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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