so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
