GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
