Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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