It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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