Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
