It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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