Ambien. No doubt about it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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