Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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