Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
