Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
