She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
