Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize