I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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