You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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