pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
