there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
