Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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