i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
