i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
