And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize