What did we do last night that was yellow?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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