do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Randomize