i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I need water and some morals
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
