Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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