haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
