I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
