it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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