How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
