we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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