just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She even gives head with a lisp.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
