Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
