Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
