Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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