He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
