now i know why i became what i already was.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
