Non-Jews are for practice
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize