I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
