I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
