I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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