he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
