Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
