If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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