Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I still have a little drunk in my system
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize