i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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