im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
