You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
