Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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