I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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