even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
