He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
