Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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