I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
