dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
