whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just high enough for therapy.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
