he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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