and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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